Making Love Alone

by Carolin Messier

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Off balance and
indifferent for days,
I made myself sink into
the everlasting light
the all-encompassing love,
to sink into the joy
of our spiritual ecstatic union
let go of my restlessness
and inhabit my body
to feel the depth of sorrow
it still holds
its tendrils wrapped around
the double helix of my DNA
each cell dormant with it
as spring turns to summer
and children fill the park.
As I fell back,
I surrendered to the thought of you
and felt the tendrils curl and bud
into tears from my belly
like sap rising
after snow melt
to overflow
until they pooled in my ears
and drowned out
the children’s song.